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Writer's pictureFred Daniels

7 Reasons Your Child Isn't Getting Playing Time

Updated: Nov 4, 2022




Youth sports are embedded in American culture as much as apple pie and reality TV. For many of us, some of our best moments as a kid and our proudest moments as parents happened on Saturday in a Pee Wee football game or Little League Baseball game. As a parent myself, few things have made me happier than watching my son’s first touchdown and I’ll never forget the hug I got from my daughter when we found out she made the soccer team.

Unfortunately, excited as we get when our children succeed on the field, it's just as disappointing when they can’t get off of the bench. This is understandable, youth sports are getting more and more expensive and it doesn't feel like you are getting your money’s worth when your child is spending most of the game on the sideline. Also, nobody wants to see their child frown in disappointment because they didn’t get to play.

It’s critical that parents understand that most of the time your child’s lack of playing time isn’t the result of “hating”, politics, or favoritism. There are times where you just have to acknowledge that your child might not have the skill set to help their team win. Acknowledging it, however, isn’t the same as accepting. In this article, we are going to lay out some common things that hold back young athletes and provide solutions to get your favorite player on the field.


Physical and Emotional Maturity


Our children learn, grow, and perform at different paces. It’s a great idea to place children in sports at an early age. It may help them communicate with their peers, create situational awareness, develop motor skills, and much more. As parents, it’s important to keep in mind that in a competitive league, the kids who display these skills the best are the ones who will get most of the playing time. It is critical for your child to be at practice and participate in order to progress their development.

There are physical barriers as well. Some kids are dominant early but peak in physical performance in their early teens, Some kids are “late bloomers” and just start gaining strength and speed around that same time.

Your child’s playing time may also be affected by their ability to follow instructions, as well as how they communicate and work with other kids. It’s important to monitor your child in the practice and observe how they execute direction and get along with their teammates. Not following directions doesn’t necessarily mean being defiant. Sometimes the younger athletes just have trouble processing the instructions they are given. Make sure you watch your child's interactions with their teammates, and always reinforce the coach’s instructions at home.


Confidence


As a kid, I would go to the batting cage and crush the ball, but on Saturday morning I struck out more often than not. Truth is, I had a reputation for striking out, and every time I stepped up to the plate, I felt like the whole park was getting ready to laugh at me. It didn’t help that every time I did strike out, I could see the disgust in the faces of my teammates. My confidence was completely shot. As the season went on I began to dread every at-bat.

It’s important that we set an environment that is encouraging and enjoyable for our young athletes. Let them know that even though there is an expectation for them to give their best effort game in and game out, criticism of their play stops in between the lines, and stops once the clock hits 0:00. Feeling a little pressure and having a sense of urgency is normal and healthy. More than likely performing under pressure will be a part of their life. Being held accountable by your teammates and coaches is a good thing. Just keep in mind the kids who are able to thrive in these moments will get the majority of the playing time late in games, even if they aren’t the most talented.


Learning skills/adaptations

Just like in the classroom, success on the playing field will be determined a lot by the athlete’s ability to process and adapt to what they see on the field. Knowing when to do it is just as important as your ability to do it. Your son may have the strongest arm on the team, but if he can’t recognize when to throw deep and when to check down, that arm can not help the team. Your daughter may be the best ball handler on the team, but if she can’t recognize when the double team is coming, she will have more turnovers than points.

Like anything else, kids will develop these skills at a different pace. Showing up in practice and getting repetitions is the best way to develop these adaptations. You should also encourage your child to watch their sport on TV. Have them watch their position being played at a high level. Discuss the big plays, discuss the mistakes, When possible make the connection between what the pros are doing on the screen and what they are asked to do for their team.



Start Cross-Training


There has been a trend in the last decade or so to have kids specialize (only play one sport) at a very early age. I believe this is a mistake. I’ve noticed that the kids who play multiple sports often thrive if not dominate. There are a few reasons why.

All sports require a wide range of athletic abilities, but each uses some more than others. Therefore every time you add another sport, you add a different tool to your toolbox. We should be sharpening our kid’s tools as they grow up and evaluate their skill set as they are physically maturing. The football players with the best top-end speed are often also track sprinters. The top pitchers are often quarterbacks, and the quickest basketball players often play soccer. Try to expose your kids to as many sports as possible and build them to be well-rounded athletes.



Core Strength and Stability


Core strength and stability are the foundation of every attribute essential to sports. Being fast, being strong, having balance, and having power are all impossible without having a strong core.

Every program I put together for youth athletes starts with core building. If you are not seeing the results you want to out of your child start here. Kids involved in gymnastics at an early age often excel in other sports because they have already been working on this and can perform dynamic movements much sooner and more efficiently.



Speed Matters


In youth sports, you can be better than everyone else a lot of times just by being faster. Especially in the younger years. Keep in mind that being fast starts with reacting fast. The next element is effort. Your child may not be the fastest but can get the edge on a lot of kids if they are willing to go THEIR fastest.

Reinforce drills that work on reaction time and quickness. Emphasize top speed in drills that don’t require much precision. In team youth sports there is usually a place on the field for the kid that works the hardest and pays attention.


Again…...DON’T MISS PRACTICE

Seems like a no-brainer, but all of us who have coached youth sports have been yelled at by the parent of a kid we never see until gameday. So I couldn’t write this without emphasizing that there is no way your child can contribute to the team on Saturday without getting the game plan Monday-Friday. You can do everything else listed in this article and if your kid doesn’t show up to put the work in with their teammates they don’t deserve to play. Throughout your child’s entire athletic career will be expected of them, and not holding them accountable in this regard early on is doing them a disservice.



We all want to put our children in a position to succeed. We must also understand that lack of playing time doesn’t make your child a failure. Think of your child’s athletic development as a long-term project. Just because they are not team captains in year one doesn’t mean there is no way they can contribute to their team. Communicate with their coach to figure out the barriers, but keep an open mind. Remember the lessons we learn in sports are also lessons for everyday life. Competing for playing time is a lot like competing in the job market, at some point in time we will have to identify the challenges holding us back and attack them with a game plan for success.



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